Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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