And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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