How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
