i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
