if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
