I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
