Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
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