Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
