WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
