I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize