so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
