When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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