Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The Olympian is in my bed
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
