dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
