I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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