Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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