It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
