Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
