I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
