i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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