You smell like a Billy Joel song
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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