singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
