shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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