What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
