Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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