dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Rumble strips road head = magical
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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