So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
