well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
