I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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