I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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