Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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