belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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