And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
