How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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