my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
