dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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