Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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