I must be too annoying 4 u.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
