i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Quick, to the slutcave!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize