she was so not down for the gang bang
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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