As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
