I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
