I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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