Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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