she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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