my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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