mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
