I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
