hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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