im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
