just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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