brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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