He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
