If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
