the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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