im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
