We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
